As usual, I continue to blog more (though not enough!) at SparklySparkly where I’m afraid you’ll be doomed to look at pictures of my new pug in cute costumes and outfits until kingdom come.

Tough.

Pugs were made to put costumes on. In fact, I’m thinking of trying to get my pug a modeling career so that I don’t have to worrry about making a living anymore, since that doesn’t seem to be going so well for me now that I’ve mostly sworn off high-tech as an income source.

So if anyone knows of a good agent for dogs, Snuffy is ready to get to work! He looks especially good in crotchless bodysuits.

And, in writing news, since that is ostensibly what this site is about, I’ll be speaking at the Write on the Sound conference in…get this…October! I don’t think I’ve ever planned so far ahead in my life. I’ll be talking about blogging, natch, and how as a writer, you need to start a blog to become rich and famous, and of course I’ll show you how. (To start a blog that is.)

More details to come soon on my appearances and teaching page.

Not too much to report here in AuthorLand.

The new novel inches ever-so-slowly-and-painfully-forward. It did have the working title “The Rock Star” but the other day I walked past the bargain bin outside Twice Sold Tales and saw a big, deliciously trashy-looking hardback by Jackie Collins entitled “Rock Star!” The best part was her huge, super-eighties-looking photo on the back, complete with feathered, hairsprayed hair.

I decided I needed to change the working title after that, but WHO AM I KIDDING? I would love to sell as many books as Jackie F*cking Collins!

Meanwhile, ahem. The first novel continues to live its secret and sometimes not-so-secret life. “James” from Austin contacted me to tell me had had found it in the Rancho Mirage Library in Southern California and that the title had “spoken to him” because he just split with his fiancee…it was spotted around town in the window of the Fremont Place Book Company (who has kindly been featuring it almost ever since it came out)…it has 11 reviews and an average rating of 3.64 (out of 5) on GoodReads… It is hovering around 800,000 on Amazon (where it’s rated four out of five stars) and you can still buy it *new* there but you can also also get a copy for a mere .01 cents! So if you haven’t read it by now, Good Lord, what are you waiting for?

As always, you can find out more about my OH-SO-EXCITING PERSONAL LIFE at SparklySparkly.com.

I don’t have much to say about being an author these days. I am working on a second novel that will take about five million years to complete and have taken a break from marketing ye olde BreakupBabe lately. In the quarterly “royalty” statements I receive, however, the number of books sold appears to be going down drastically with every passing month so I think it will soon be in the negative numbers. At least it is still selling well enough on Amazon that it hasn’t been discontinued! (Thank God for the “Long Tail.”)

Ignoring that frightening fact, check out my article about Mount Rainier that just came out today - and no that grammatical error/typo in the second paragraph is not mine! Grr. That grouse aside, I do love writing for the PI because they don’t edit my articles heavily. Having recently experienced some very heavyhanded editing, I appreciate the light touch more than ever because of course my writing is of course PERFECT when it comes out the gate! (Kidding all you editors out there.)

In other writing news, I will soon be teaching an online blogging class for the Editorial Freelancer’s Association - which means you can participate even if you don’t live in Seattle!

In still more — completely unrelated — news, this story about a playful dolphin who saved two beached whales made me cry my eyes out when I was in a particularly hormonal mood yesterday.

Finally, for more of my recent blogging, see SparklySparkly or the Mount Rainier Climbing blog.

I recently posted on my other blog about my dreamy new writing gig at Mount Rainier National Park…

Also — try to contain your excitement — but the full archives have been restored to Breakup Babe! Lacking a better technical solution, they are all on one HUMONGOUS page, so you might have to wait a little bit for it to load. But don’t give up hope! After a few-second wait you will be rewarded with years worth of posts about my lovably messed-up love life.

You can check out a photo of me looking rather vampire-like on the photographer Barbie Hull’s blog, taken at the recent Girl Power Hour event. If only I could have 100 cocktail-drinking women as an audience every time! (You have to scroll down the page a bit to see aformentioned vampire-like photo). It was a fun, friendly event and I will definitely go again, even when I am not one of the star attractions.

All I can say about the writing life these days is that I’m writing. Not well. Not for money. But I’m plugging away, sitting down every day to try to find a story that sings and characters that aren’t boring, obnoxious, and superficial.

That’s the fiction-writing life anyway. In other, less exalted arenas, I am getting paid for my writing. (’Buy this product from xyz GiantSoftwareCompany! It’s sooo awesome!’) A few articles of mine grace the glossy magazines around town. I’m getting paid to teach writing. The occasional check comes in from a store that is selling my book on consignment. (As for royalties, ha ha ha).

It’s just life, really. I always thought when I became a published author that I would become an incandescent, glamorous being who churned out beautiful yet hilarious works of fiction on a regular basis and never 1)went on unemployment 2)struggled through horrible drafts and crises of faith and 3)got ignored or rejected by editors again.

Obviously, none of this is true. In a way, becoming a published novelist changed nothing and changed everything at the same time.

Now that I’ve completely exhausted my profundity for the day, I point you to my other blog where I’ve recently written in my trademark whiny yet witty style.

One more thing - if you happen to be a girl and you happen to live in Seattle, you can come see my speak (briefly) and socialize network at an upcoming Girl Power Hour this Thursday in lower Queen Anne.

Hope to see you there!
Rebecca

I just posted over at SparklySparkly today…so ENJOY.

And if you live in Seattle, don’t forget to stop by Peridot on Friday to drink wine, shop for beautiful clothes and jewelry, and buy my book. Oh you have my book already you say? Well doesn’t someone on your gift list need it? Many someones perhaps? As I like to say, it’s the perfect gift for the recently dumped or the about-to-be-dumped. Or anyone who has ever had to date, period.

This is the spiel I will be giving all night long on Friday. It’s rather humbling trying to sell ones wares in person. A book is not an easy sell. But at least BreakupBabe has that great colorful cover that jumps out at people and a topic they can all relate to. That makes my job a little easier. The wine should help too.

One of the contradictions of my Gemini personality is that while I crave constant adventure, variety, and excitement, I am also a big sucker for routine. Take, for example, the following:

National Novel Writing Month - which we are in the thick of as we speak! I love it that someone is telling me exactly how many words I must write every single day (1667!) and that I MUST make it happen or risk losing all sense of self-worth. (Or at least the chance to finish the draft of an exceedingly-crappy-yet-with-seeds-of-if-not-exactly-brilliance-then-not-so-crappy-stuff).

The gym. Now that I have established a routine whereby I go every single day at noon, nothing or no one can try to stop me or they risk getting hit in the head with my ancient blue Nike gym bag or even worse - being forced to smell the inside of it!

My morning routine. Every morning I go to Uptown Espresso to write and order an extra hot grande soy latte. Today, when a barista I’d never seen before put my coffee in a “tall” ceramic cup, instead of the “grande” glass which I *so* enjoy, things turned unpleasant.

“They always put it in the big glass,” I say sullenly, in pre-coffee, don’t-cross-me-motherf*cker mode.

“You ordered an extra-hot, right? This is what we put it in.” Now this is not true. Maybe it is true under whatever rock he crawled out from but it is not true for ME NOW HERE.

“THEY ALWAYS PUT IT IN THE BIG GLASS,” I say more loudly now, as in I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A TANTRUM.

Luckily for him he puts it in the big glass. Now I can proceed with the rest of my day, thank you very much: writing 1667 words, going to the gym at noon, reading a book before I go to sleep in utter silence, and waking up to my grande extra hot soy latte in the BIG GLASS all over again tomorrow.

National Novel Writing Month is here once again and this time I am determined to get a draft of a novel done!

The first time I did it was in 2003, when I wrote the first draft of my soon-to-be-bestselling-any-day-now-c’mon-people-and-just-buy-it-will-you novel, BreakupBabe. Oh did that first draft suck and I hardly used a word of it later on but just writing it was an important step - probably the most important step - in writing what would ultimately be my published book.

I won’t bore you with why I haven’t done it the last few years (I’ve tried) but it’s 2007 and I’m gonna make it work this year. I’M GOING TO, DAMN IT.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to think of any interesting writing-related tidbits to give you. I’m currently working on another freelance article for Seattle Metropolitan Magazine. This is the article I risked life and limb (and got soaking wet) for, and then, because that trip didn’t make for compelling copy, I went out and got soaking wet again trip (but at least I didn’t risk life and limb that time). Now I’m just procrastinating on the writing part because I’d rather daydream about the characters in my latest story - who may or may not surive after this first-draft-writing-process.

I’ve been writing a little more on SparklySparkly than here lately so check it out - if you want to read things about oh, my lack of sweaters, my impatience with people who abuse punctuation, and other such deep and profound things.

Hello all,
What can I tell you about the writing life these days?

*I still do most of my writing at Uptown Espresso in lower Queen Anne, where my current favorite drink is a grande, extra-hot soy latte. (Oh God, that is so boring, please forgive me. I think you’ll find the next tidbit more juicy…)

*Recently, the first person I ever kissed (I mean, really kissed, because I don’t count that horrible experience with my first high school boyfriend drooling all over me two years previously) saw the copy of BreakupBabe that is currently displayed in one of my other favorite coffee shops, El Diablo, and contacted me - after 21 years! We met while working in this theater - which is now very posh but was once a seedily elegant Art Deco place where you could see good indie films — and shared our fateful kiss in the balcony.

*I have an idea for a new novel. Maybe. Whether or not this turns out to be the *one*, you can expect any novel I write in the near future to include the following themes: rock music, high school friendships, obsessive crushes, and pop culture.

*I’ve discovered that finding an idea to write about is a lot like dating. There are a lot of false starts and initial excitement; a lot of thoughts like “this is the one!” before you realize that your idea might look all shiny and pretty but is, in fact, not for you. Even when you DO find the right idea, as I did with BreakupBabe, you have to endure a lot of initial angst (the first draft of that novel was SOOOOO bad; come to think of it, the second and third weren’t so great, either), and it’s only by really believing the idea that you can work through that.

*I envy those slutty writers who have one good idea right after another - bam, bam, bam - but I’m just not one. I’m saving myself for the right idea, I guess. But it’s sure hard to be patient sometimes.

Well, well, what do you know - BreakupBabe has become a collector’s item!

You know what this means, right? You better buy up some copies FAST, have me sign them, and then you can auction them off for lots of money! Why you might even be able to purchase that yacht you’ve been dreaming of, or maybe even your own island! Just invest in one of the .87 cents copies also available on Amazon.com, ask me to sign a bookplate and send it to you, then put on Amazon for 100 times what you paid for it = instant wealth!

Though I have to wonder how seller ZONTIK2 from New Jersey ended up with a signed copy in the first place and how he/she could bear to part with it?

Not for me to ponder such mysteries, I guess. I will be most curious to see if anyone buys this collectible item - not that I will see a penny for it. But that’s OK. We all know I’m not in this for the money. Ahem.

And here we have it - my first freelance travel article in ages.

Now that I am a rich and famous novelist, of course, I have plenty of time to write travel articles for paltry pay, but at least I am exploring le monde, rather than sitting in a crappy cubicle.

Oh hell, I still sit in a crappy cubicle, who am I kidding? Sometimes, anyway. But the Corporation has me on a long leash these days, so more often I’m doing the work I need to survive in remote and exotic locations, such as Uptown Espresso, the Greenlake Library, or Third Place Books (three places I’ve already been to today!)

Meanwhile, my plan to enlist an entire nationwide army of Breakup Babies to get my store into girlie boutiques across the country is underway. Would you like to be part of it? If so, contact moi, Rebecca, and find out what’s in it for you besides glory!

Finally, I’d like to end with a fan letter, because we haven’t gotten to read one of those in a long, long time, because I haven’t gotten any in a long, long time. From Theresa, who wrote…

“…I picked up your book last week. I broke out into tears at the end! It was wonderful, and I hope you keep writing. I’m going to recommend Breakup Babe to my book clubs, and all of my friends.Thank you for being so brave, outgoing, and never letting go of your own dreams. I’m truly inspired!”

xo
Rebecca

No my dearest fans, I have not gotten eaten by giant worms! I am just busy trying to figure out my life plus trying to console myself in the wake of the devastating news that I did not win the Blooker Prize! No! Not even close! Some Iraq vet guy won. Now come on! Would people really rather read about WAR and TIMELY ISSUES than Rachel Cooper’s obsession with Anthropologie blouses and huge c*cks?

Apparently so.

Now I know I’ve been elusive but you’ll be able to catch a glimpse of me at an upcoming Hugo House fundraiser called “Write-O-Rama,” this coming June 17 and then again starting on July 11 where I will be teaching a blogging class at ye olde Richard Hugo House. It’s going to be loads of FUN and we’re gonna party our asses off in that class so you’re gonna be sorry if you don’t take it.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Just a note that the Seattle Weekly recently featured me in an article again - thank youuuu Seattle Weekly! Me loves any kind of publicity. Oh, also thanks to my friend Diane Mapes who mentioned my book in her hilarious Seattle P.I. column about dating.

Other book news. Hmm. The book is doing well in local boutiques. It’s now being stocked in a lovely litle store right near my house called Peridot that you should go visit. Where I bought my oh-so-stylish headband!

If you have a book club that would like to read my book, by the way, I would love to come talk to you or to call in if you live far away. BreakupBabe hearts personal (or phone!) appearances and will take my payment in booze, thank you very much. Just think - you can say you met me before I was famous!

I am anxiously awaiting news of the Blooker Prize and have already talked about it so much that I’ve no doubt jinxed it but hey, it was nice to be shortlisted anyway. I’m sure one of the other very worthy contestants will win (because I’m all humble like that.) Really, the other books do look quite good and - oh, what the hell am I talking about - I want to WIN! My book is the BEST! Well it might not be the BEST but I still want to WIN! Please give me the effing prize, already so I can get on with my life!

Sheesh. I mean thank you.

Love,
Rebecca

Now that I have returned from my fabulous ski trip to Utah, I am faced with the question of where to sell a story about it. I know I can do it. It’s just going to mean lots of soul-sucking query-letter writing and horrible drafts and false starts.

But being a writer sucks, we already know that, so let’s move on.

I also need to get ready to teach my blogging class this summer, which will be a whole new challenge. I think I’ll focus on the writing aspect. What kind of writing catches (and keeps) people’s attention in the blogosphere? There’s a lot of techie stuff to know with blogging these days too but for one, I don’t know much about it, and two, blogging - in it’s purest form - is for the unwashed masses who know nothing about HTML. But I do want to help my students promote their blogs so I’ll need to touch on some ways to do that.

I’m in the midst of defining my own relationship with the blogosphere, as you know. Even today, people still beg for Breakup-Babe-style posts about my love life. And even today, I find it hard to write about anything BUT my love life. So I don’t blog about much of anything. I do have a “secret” blog that I’ve started about my outdoor adventures. Which seems a good way to segue back into the travel writing thing. One of these days I will make it public or else just start blogging about that stuff more on SparklySparkly.

Because the bottom line is, blogging is addictive. I’m still not over my addiction to Breakup Babe, the blog that won me fame and fortune and a big fat nice modest novel contract. I blog elsewhere, trying to fill that need, but alas, there is still a ragged hole in my existence. (And an obvious lack of sleep leading to maudlin similes).

Bye.

Rebecca

My life continues to be in a weird limbo state but things are shaking and moving. (In some ways. In other ways, they are still as a pond in a Zen garden.). I’m starting the freelance writing thing again. The rusty wheels are creaking into motion with ideas. I’ve even scored myself an assignment (of sorts) to go to this ski seminar and write about it.

In other writing news, I had lots of fun providing the “literary entertainment” at Centerpoint’s recent fundraiser and posing as a “writing professional” ontheir career panel on writing last week. Any time I sit in front of an audience of hopeful writers, my heart goes out to them. Writing=pain! Trying to be a writer=pain! Even when you’re a rich and famous writer like me=pain! So I want to do everything I can to help them.

My muse, however, has been hiding out. I’ve gotten sick of tracking that b*tch down, so whatever. Let her stay in her palapa in Mexico or wherever she is, drinking Negro Modelos and flirting with the help. There are plenty of things I can write without her - like blog entries and query letters. And extremely uninspired first-person essays (another recent project of mine.) Here’s a sneak peek from a never-to-be-published essay about my trip to Patagonia last year:

“So I’d reluctantly let myself be dragged out of the tent into this wild day and now I was regretting it. I comforted myself with the thought that the group of Chileans we passed on our way up here would probably die before us. Several members of their party were wearing jeans and they were moving slowly. We, on the other hand, were clothed in the latest in REI outerwear, but were were still going to die. I was sure of it. And we wouldn’t even get a good view in the process. ”

I bet you can hardly wait for the rest now can you? Do we die or or don’t we?? Your guess is as good as mine. So stay tuned for the next episode of Rebecca Awaits Her Muse and Meanwhile Writes Crappy Personal Essays!

xo
Rebecca

Just a quick newsflash. BreakupBabe: A Novel has been shortlisted for the Lulu Blooker Prize! The competition was, and still is, stiff - so this is quite an honor.

Check out all the finalists here.

So things have been shaking a bit. Just a little bit. My book got nominated for a prize but I CAN’T SAY WHICH RIGHT NOW. The local boutiques that are stocking my book are selling out. OK, ONE of them sold out, which means they sold five copies since December but hey! Not bad if I do say so myself!

It’s the beauty of lowered expectations, people. I don’t even look at my frickin’ sales rank on Amazon.com anymore. I no longer expect to make my living as a novelist or for this book to shoot to the top of bestseller lists (if only I’d put it there when I worked for Amazon and my job was to post the New York Times Bestseller list on the site every week. Oh I would have been fired and there would have been a scandal, but since when did scandal hurt authors, I ask?)

I still hope, of course. But these days I’m thrilled if a store tells me they’ve sold out of their five copies. Or if the Bellevue Barnes and Noble is featuring it on their Fiction table or if I have a reading coming up, which I do! Oh how I miss mingling with the people! In fact, if you want me to talk or read at your birthday party, bat-mitzvah, wedding, book group, or heck, even if you just want me to come read you a bedtime story, I’ll do it!

Seriously now. One of my “career goals” (and I have a bunch of those now that I realize that novelist is not really a “career”) is to do more public speaking (and get paid for it). What shall I speak about you ask? Good question! Dating? Breakups? Writing? How to Have Fun While Ignoring the Reams of Paperwork That Pile Up On Your Desk?

Meanwhile, I’ll be reading at a fundraiser at Centerpoint Institute on March 24 and participating in a career panel about writing March 29. If you live in Seattle and are going through a transition of some sort – especially a career transition - Centerpoint is a great place to take a class. I went there back in the fall for there class called LifeWork Renewal, which, despite the hokey name, was very enlightening.

It enabled me to realize I hated my f*cking job, that it was OK to hate my f*cking job, and OK to be depressed about hating my f*cking job and that I needed to kick it to the curb promptly (which I did, thus curing my depression).

There will be more details about these events soon on my Appearances page.

OK, enough from the likes of me this morning. Did you know summer is coming up and that BreakupBabe makes a grreeaat beach read?!

Normally I am against the idea of Bellevue, Washington. It is full of strip malls and McMansions, sterile office parks, and SUVs used only to commute from one’s McMansion to one’s sterile office park. Years ago, I saw a teenage skate rat wearing a t-shirt that said “Bellevue Sucks” and I have always agreed.

HOWEVER. Can I just say I heart the Barnes and Noble in downtown Bellevue?

That is because they are featuring my book prominently on their “Favorite Fiction” table smack dab in the middle of the store, where its comic-book style cover is sure to catch the eyes of the culture-starved highly-cultured and tasteful Bellevue masses! (This discovery due to a hot tip from local scenester Ken.)

OK, OK, so the table doesn’t actually say “Favorite Fiction.” It says “Fiction.” However, the friendly store manager who helped me sign the copies (and, who I might add, greeted me with just the right tone of “Oh hello you are an author, I am so thrilled to meet you!”-respect) said that that table represented the “favorite fiction” in the store, or, in other words, the “books that do really well here.”

(Of course, I am secretly paranoid they put it out there to get rid of it, but if so, wouldn’t it be in a little rack with a bunch of other books that no one wants, with a sign that says “50 cents?”)

Anyway, if I could just go around the country visiting bookstores that stock my book and signing copies, I would be happy. Never mind the reading and talking to audiences part, although I love that too. It’s just very exciting to see my book so prominently featured and such a thrill to sign those copies, and, as you can see despite all my whining I am not completely jaded on this whole author thing so maybe I will keep on being a writer after all.

I started a writing class yesterday. (Just one in a series of self-improvement-y things I’m doing now, including but not limited to career counseling, piano lessons, and learning to dig people out of avalanches).

Writing classes have always inspired me in times of need. Back in 1996, when I was first emerging from Phase I of spoiled upper-middle-class white girl adulthood – that is, getting jobs I actually liked, earning money instead of borrowing from Dad, finally adjusting to the idea that I had to support myself etc etc –I took a fiction-writing class at the University of Washington.

The stuff I wrote wasn’t really good, per se (although it had its moments) but I learned lots of stuff, the most important being, my imagination actually still worked. (Those of who you’ve read my novel have heard me yak on about this discovery phase ad nauseum so you can skip the part of this entry where I talk about Oprah.) That class also got me writing in a semi-regular way.

Flash-forward to ten years and twenty boyfriends later. I look much the same, although thinner, with more gray hair (artfully colored over), and am now a glamorous published novelist struggling with her second book — sure to be the breakout novel!–and, as usual, decide to take a writing class to help me get over the hump. This one is called “Reading for Novelists,” and we are basically supposed to find our favorite authors and imitate them. Or rather, study their craft, and figure out what they’re doing that makes their writing so good, then do it ourselves.

But never mind about that for now. Last night the teacher (the talented Waverly Fitzgerald) said writers were usually divided into two camps: one who seek a plot for their characters and those who seek characters for their plot. (Traditionally, the former is considered the more “literary” and less formulaic way to write). During this last month or so in which I’ve gotten 1)all fired up about my latest novel idea then 2)deflated about my latest novel idea, I thought all along that I was being so character-driven, that what I had was a bunch of characters that I was trying to find a plot for. What I realized today was that this is true for the minor characters. In fact, it was in imagining those minor characters (i.e. the World of Warcraft playing geek who lives in his mother’s basement) that got me excited about this book.

HOWEVER. The protagonist is totally unclear to me, and that, I realize is because she is just a vehicle of the plot. That’s why I can’t figure out who the hell she is: I came up with this plot first and now I have to create this character for it. HMM. So should I throw away my rather appealing plot and instead try to find an appealing character? Or keep on bashing around for a character who will serve my plot?

Yawn. I know it’s boring when writers go on and on about their characters and their “struggles” with them. So I’ll shut up. You don’t care. You just wanna see the next damn book. (Or hear about who I’m making out with or which unpleasant ex-fling sighting I had yesterday, during which we pretended not to see each other though we totally did. OK fine, the Construction Worker).

Oh. And Oprah hasn’t f*cking called yet.

xo
Rebecca

Being a writer is a sucky profession, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

Parts of it are good. When I had my contract in hand, life was grand. (I say, in retrospect). My publishing career was a blank slate, money was rolling in, and I had a deadline. I could say “my first novel is coming out in May,” and everyone would prostrate at my feet.

Now, well…the novel is out, and like most first books, sales are slow, the germination of the next book is even slower, and supporting myself is a dreary task. Sometimes it’s hard to maintain a positive attitude is all’s I’m saying. If you can, be a computer programmer! Or a dentist! Or an acccountant! Something well-paid and regular that doesn’t require you to lay your heart on the line for a fickle public.

Oh OK, I’ll shut up now. I know how lucky I am to have published a novel. I’ve just been drifiting ever since I finished BreakupBabe.

But that’s life, isn’t it? An endless cycle of achievement, drifting, love, loss. Winter, spring, summer, fall. You want the sun to shine all the time, but it doesn’t.

In other news, I did apply to be on Oprah! Apparently an upcoming show will have the theme “Desperately Single” and while my pride caused me to hesistate at such an opportunity, common sense soon took over. Yes! I am Desperately Single! And I Desperately Want to Promote my Book on Oprah!

I also entered my book in the Lulu Blooker Prize competition, for the best book based on a blog. I was a bit dismayed to see there is actually lots of competition. In fact, I see I’m competing with Jessica Cutler and The Washingtonienne, which is tres annoying. I haven’t actually read her book but I refuse to believe it’s better than mine! Oh hell, maybe it is. Jessica Cutler is probably a literary genius compared to me and I wish her all the success in the world. There, see! I’m not jealous or bitter!

OK I see I have hardly a positive thing to say today. I will end with a photo, showing my book on a reader’s bookshelf in illustrious company. Thanks to Kelly for the picture!

Things have died down a bit in the book publicity and promotion world. I did a flurry of things in the winter and fall, and now my 15 minutes is up and I am hard at work on the next book.

I occasionally get asked how my life has “changed” since becoming an author and the truth is, it hasn’t much. I get more email from strangers now, which I love, because the people who are prompted to write are the ones who liked my book, and so they usually shower me with praise. Just today, I got this email from Christina, and here’s what she said about my book:

It is fantastic. (I read it in three sittings!) I loved how you interspersed blog entries with narrative prose. It served as a constant reminder that blog entries only capture part of the story and don’t always account for everything that is going on in our lives. I loved that Rachel, while she was a heroine you wanted to ultimately see get the guy, also had some very real flaws other than bad hair or a big ass. Too many times in stories, the flaws in female characters are based on physical characteristics, so it was refreshing to see issues other than beauty as the central conflict.

Complete strangers flirt with me a bit more via e-mail, though not nearly as much as you might think. People from my past come out of the woodwork, sometimes to say “congratulations” other times to kindly remind me that I broke their heart way-back-when and just to remember that when I write whiny novels about getting my own heart broken.

I do get to walk into bookstores and see my own book. Most of the time this makes me more anxious than excited, sad to say. My thoughts run along these lines: Why do they have so many copies? It means they’re not selling! Why don’t they have any copies? Have they returned them all?! Why did they remove the little “Staff Picks” blurb? They must hate my book now! Etc. etc.

I get to tell people I’m a “writer” and not feel like a total poser. (Although part of me wonders, how long can I say this? If it gets to be ten years from now and I still haven’t published another thing, can I still say I’m a writer?). I can sometimes justify self-absorbed or stunningly absent-minded behavior by telling myself I’m a writer; my mind is on more important things. (Like, why is my hair so flat? )

I do have the satisfaction of knowing I achieved my life’s #1 dream and that is pretty amazing. At least, when I am calm enough to appreciate it. Though it is a bit hard to figure out what to do after that. Really, you just go on living. Working, cleaning clothes off your bed, flinging yourself into ill-fated romances, flossing, worrying about horrible diseases, and trying to get through the day.

Glamorous, truly.

On that note, happy new year everyone, and may you achieve some of your own life dreams. Or at least may you keep your bed clean, and not get any cavities or broken hearts.

x0
Rebecca

Let’s see, what can I tell you about my glamorous author career?

I did a book signing recently at the lovely Bouncing Wall boutique in Queen Anne…

Peddled my wares at the Crave Holiday party…

Found a few more boutiques and salons in Seattle to sell my book, including the Regeneration Salon, Lily’s , and Oohla’s Hair Design…

Wrote an entire novel in the fall that I now cannot open because I wrote it on my [INSERT NAME OF GIANT E-TAILER HERE] laptop, which, unbeknownst to me, was encrypting EVERYTHING. $#!(#@ Unfortunately or not, that novel sucked so I am onto the next one, which features a World of Warcraft playing nerd who lives in his mother’s basement (the younger brother of our heroine), and a perpetually stoned but talented rock guitarist (the romantic interest). As for the heroine herself, she is still but an unformed blob. I don’t know what I’m doing with her. I think she’s going to be catapulted into some kind of quasi-celebrity that forces her to face all her demons but I don’t even know what those damn demons are yet or what my heroine wants out of life. I do know she’s insecure but lovable (of course) and takes out her insecurities on those around her by trying to control their lives, when really she’s not in control of her own.

With any luck, this novel will be on the shelves by Christmas 2037.

Yours truly,
Rebecca

All right, so you don’t have that many chances to see me speak in December. I’m sure you’ll get over it, what with all that holiday shopping and drinking you have to do.

Speaking of alcohol, for those of you who came to my alcohol-themed event in Renton, “Cosmos and Conversation” – thank you! If you missed it, well. Next time you might have second thoughts about staying in Seattle warm and dry when you could be driving to Renton in the pouring rain to see me speak, cause it was lots of FUN.

Lots of fun-loving, friendly women ready to drink and laugh. Oh, and buy books! Now that is my kind of crowd. The food and drink was good too, and the service fabulous. If you’re ever in downtown Renton (and I can now say I’ve been there for the first time in my life!), you must try the Fin N’ Bone. And of course, my publicist Kris did a great job setting it all up.

I will be making an appearance November 30th, at Hugo House (an event that got rescheduled from last month – my apologies if you showed up because I forgot to change the date on my web site – oops). Here be the blurb:

The Hugo InPrint Series presents Women Write Relationships. Chick-lit, dating blogs, how-to manuals — women dominate the world of relationship writing. Join authors Rebecca Agiewich (BreakupBabe) and Diane Mapes (How to Date) as they discuss turning personal passion into book deals. No pitch sessions. 7 - 9 p.m. More info on my Appearances page.

I’ll also have a booth at this here Crave Party. A Crave Party, if you’ve never been to one, is, as their web site describes it, “an exclusive, festive, glam-gal gathering of fun, entertainment, personal pampering, specialty shopping, sippin’ and noshin’, and just hanging with the girls, including WORLD FAMOUS AUTHOR REBECCA AGIEWICH, WHO WILL BE SELLING HER BOOK THAT MAKES THE PERFECT GIFT FOR ANYONE WHO HAS JUST GOTTEN THEIR HEART RIPPED OUT OF THEIR BODY, GROUND TO PULP, AND SMEARED AGAINST THE WALL JUST FOR FUN!”

OK, I made that last part up. I personally have never been to a Crave Party. But I hear they’re fun. $15 if you buy your ticket in advance, $20 at the door. I won’t be doing a talk there, just selling books, and chatting with the other glam-gals. Come see me!

Oh, by the way, there was a nice write-up about me in the King County Journal last week. They put me on the cover of their Women’s Journal section! My face, like ten times life-size! Good thing I had so much damn makeup on.

Are you tired of hearing about me yet? I am.

Happy Thanksgiving.

So, things have been a bit wacky here in Authorville, but we’re still plugging along. I did a reading at the Borders in Tacoma last weekend – to two whole people! (one, my publicist, one the kind and enthusiastic bookstore employee who set it all up), then moved on to the Auburn Supermall (you can read all about that experience on BreakupBabe). It’s a miracle I survived my drives there on the freeway, seeing as we were experiencing rain of Biblical proportions. But I did!

And now I’m looking forward to my next event – and hopefully you are too! – “Cosmos and Conversation” – at the Fin N’ Bone in Renton. Yep, you pay $15 bucks and get a drink, an appetizer, and the pleasure of listening to me tell you all about my book. In the glittering cosmpolis that is Renton, Washington. What better way to spend an evening?

Seriously, I think it will be fun. I think alcohol should be involved in more of my book events. I contemplated taking a flask with me to the Auburn Supermall but I don’t own a flask (Christmas gift idea – ahem!) and didn’t get it together to buy one in time.

Meanwhile, with a rough draft of another book written, I’m contemplating what to do with it. Work on it some more or write yet another rought draft? Everyone who reads the damn book asks if there is going to be a sequel and although my agent told me in no uncertain terms she thought a sequel wouldn’t really sell, I’m tempted to write one anyway. Sans the whole blog thing, which Rachel will definitely outgrow.

More soon…

Well, I’ve taken a bit of a break from touring but am gearing up for some appearances in October and November. What with all the groupies, the sex, the drugs on the last leg of the tour, I needed a break! Besides, the first big sparkly “B ” fell off the tour bus (piece of crap letters made in Taiwan) so it now says “reakup Babe.” I mean, what the hell, I can’t really tour around in THAT.

But the letters have been reaffixed and I’m ready to rock and roll!

THUS. Come to my book signing at A Book for All Seasons in lovely Leavenworth on October 14th from 1-3 p.m.. ‘Twill be Oktoberfest and the leaves will be gold and I won’t have to do anything but sit there and look pretty and sign copies. I have not yet done any signings only. I wonder if anyone will buy any? Usually I have to stand up there and juggle and dance and try to persuade everyone how charming I am and how funny my book is, and even then, people don’t always buy it! So we shall see.

Next up. I know I have made it now because I am appearing at the Auburn Supermall on November 5! Only the top authors and celebrities and NASCAR drivers are asked to appear here, so it really is quite an honor. I’m borrowing a dress from Oscar de la Renta for the occasion, during which I will be doing a signing at a lovely little shop called Fuego during “The Magical Night of Giving.” This is a night you do not want to miss!

Finally. I’ll be reading once again at Borders in Tacoma on November 4th. Oops, wait, that comes before November 5th, doesn’t it? Well, excuse me, I’m just so excited about the Auburn Supermall I had to mention that first. I don’t yet have the address for that Borders but I’ll get it soon. Details, details.

For now, off to stock the tour bus with champagne.

So just did a reading up at Village Books in Bellingham. I enjoyed it, of course, like I do all my readings. My not-a-boyfriend who came up with me was forced to listen to the talk three times, twice in the car and once at the bookstore. He was a good sport about it and provided helpful feedback. He suggested I talk slower, discuss the writing process more (since many people who come to readings are also writers), and open the talk up a little more for questions. As it is, I talk for 35 minutes straight and don’t let people ask questions until the end.

So I think I might try that next time. If there is a next time. I have one more event on the docket, which is a signing in the beautiful faux-Bavarian town of Leavenworth, at A Book for All Seasons. Other than that, I’m currently stewing in a bit of indecision about where else to go.

But back to the Village Books reading. It was the first time no one bought a copy of my book! Two friends showed up who had a copy for me to sign, one friend showed up who is too stingy to buy a copy of a book he will never read (unless he was secretly hoarding his copy at home), and the rest of the 10-person audience were strangers who had never heard of me before, and, I guess, weren’t quite convinced enough to buy a copy of BreakupBabe based on my smashing little talk.

Oh well. I do not despair. Now the bookstore is stocking it and hopefully soon all the singles in Bellingham will fall upon it and devour it so that they will sell through the many copies they so bravely ordered.

Sigh. I always feel a bit scared and guilty when I see how many copies the bookstores order. I see those stacks and stacks of shiny BreakupBabes and immediately think, oh my God, how will they ever sell those many copies? However, I have not reason to feel guilty as they can return those mo’ fo’s when they don’t sell. Did I mention by any chance that my book has had a second printing already? Why yes, it did! But now we just need to sell all those copies they printed.

Did you know BreakupBabe makes a great stocking stuffer?

So I had a kick-ass reading at Queen Anne Books the other day. I was nervous, of course, beforehand, like I was always am. This time will be the time I forget how to speak, and I flee the stage in shame, my literary career in ruins. As usual, nothing of the sort happened. If anything, I was looser than usual, throwing in personal anecdotes and jokes that I hadn’t before. The Q&A was particularly lively at this one. Perhaps the “mocktails” so graciously served by the events coordinator Tegan got everyone in a relaxed mood.

A good crowd turned out, with a fun mix of coworkers, friends (some of them coming to their second reading — thank you, some I hadn’t seen in forever), ex boyfriends, current boyfriends, writer friends, and complete strangers. Here is an action shot taken by the talented GalPal #2. I know the shirt I’m wearing looks suspiciously like the one in the last book-reading photo I posted. It is. (It also belongs to GalPal #2 and I’m glad she hasn’t asked for it back since I wear it to every reading.)

Here are a few questions I’m guaranteed to get at almost any reading, and this one was no exception:

-Does Loser know about the book? Have you heard from him?
Yes, I’m sure he does. No I have not, though I expect a call from his lawyers at any second.

-What’s your next book going to be?
BreakupBabe: The Nursing Home Years.

My favorite question from this week’s reading:
-Did you really climb Mt. Everest?

Next on the docket is Village Books in Bellingham, I gig I got thanks to fiction-writer-extraordinaire Laura Kalpakian, who lives in Bellingham, and has set a few of her atmospheric novels on a San-Juan-type island called “Isadora.”

Meanwhile, now that I’m flying sans publicist, I’m trying to figure out just how much time, energy, and money to put into promoting this baby. I’m slowly setting up more reading dates in the northwest and gearing up to go east too.

Finally, I recently did an interview for an article for the Chicago Tribune’s Red Eye section, which appeared, oddly, in the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. This article is not really about me, they just called me to have some quotes from an expert breaker-upper.

Finally – my book has reached four-star status on Amazon! It’s been a long, hard road getting there after a couple poisonous reviews dropped it down to something awful like 2.5 stars. My Amazon ranking ain’t so hot, but whatever!

In other news, I recently got a nice little shout-out on Mike Gauthier’s blog. Mike is the head climbing ranger at Mt. Rainier, a good friend, and also an author. His book is the definitive climbing guide to Rainier, and it has FIVE stars on Amazon.

Mike is an old hand at the celebrity thing, and gave me some good advice when I first went on TV, which was to not be afraid to be outrageous or risque. So when I went on TV the next day, and they asked me “Why is it so hard to date in Seattle?,” I said “Because people wear too many clothes!” I thought it was pretty funny but no one in the studio laughed. The production asssitant who ushered me out, however, said it cracked her up. So at least I wasn’t a total failure with my little standup routine.

I still have a couple more appearances lined up in the Seattle area, and am lining up ever more! I will also be on Northwest Afternoon on August 24, with a whole seven minutes devoted to me and my melodramatic tale of breakups, blogging, and bestselling writerdom. So be sure to watch me and Kent Phillips yukking it up. You can also catch up on the soaps with Cindi Rinehart!

So I was recently in my hoity toity hometown of Palo Alto, California, and while I was there I did an interview with Don Kazak, the Books editor for the Palo Alto Weekly. He did a nice write-up of me for the paper. I especially liked it that he attended my reading, and said that the passages I read were “wickedly funny.” That reading was lots of fun, as my mom packed the Mountain View Books, Inc. with all her friends, and they sold out of books. A few of my friends were there too, including two high school friends I hadn’t seen in at least 15 years.

That is one of the best things about writing a book - all these people crawl out of the woodwork from your past. I’ve heard from several high school friends and at least one college friend that I’d lost track of. One reason I chose not to write under a pseudonym! Well actually the reason was more along the lines of “I want everyone to know I’ve hit it big.” Still, it has been great hearing from everyone.

So I just returned from the California leg of my book tour, which included three readings, two TV appearances, one newspaper interview, one party, and one bad cold that kept me whining all the way through and which magically disappeared as soon as I got back to Seattle.

Somehow I managed to buck up when it counted though, and there is a simple explanation for that, which is that I love the spotlight. I am also so thrilled when anyone at *all* shows up for my readings - be it 8 (like it was in San Francisco) or 50 (like it was in Mountain View) that I want to make my listeners happy. I get pretty nervous before the readings, showing up at the bookstores at least half an hour early for no good reason (since no one in the audience shows up until 5 minutes beforehand or twenty minutes after the thing starts!) and pace around, applying and re-applying lipstick, and worrying I will forget how to talk altogether, though I have been doing it since age 2.

Once the thing gets rolling, I’m pretty good after the first few minutes or so, and by the end I’m usually feeling bathed in a warm glow. That’s why I especially like the Q&A portion of the evening and the book signing. If you ever come to one of my readings, you should definitely get me to sign your book because I will shower you with luv!

Here I am bestowing luv on my audience in Berkeley. By the way, Black Oak Books was a blast. I loved the friendly staff, the receptive audience, and the rickety, wooden feel of the place. I expected it be snobby, but noo…they made me feel like a star.

OK so I’m not getting that much buzz, but even a little bit feels like a lot. Today I got reviewed in the Seattle Weekly and e-mail is coming in a steady stream from readers telling me how much they love the book. (I’m sorry if I haven’t responded to all your notes yet, but know that they made my day.)

Consequently I have changed my forlorn “Press” page to “Buzz,” which is more appropriate since I hadn’t gotten much actual “press” yet, though that is changing this week with the Weekly review and a Seattle P.I. interview that will be appearing on Friday.

I’ve started posting comments on this page from people who’ve written me about the book. I still have more to add, and will continue to do so as they flow in (she says hopefully).

I got some new tour dates in my schedule - August 17 at Queen Anne Books in Seattle and July 16 at Books, Inc. in Mountain View.

I’m especially excited about the Mountain View gig since I grew up in the south Bay Area, and this makes it easy for people there to come see me. The Queen Anne event will be fun too since it’s in my neighborhood and is attached to the coffeeshop that I hang out at all the time, called El Diablo. Who knows if anyone will come, since most of my friends have been out to see me already, but even if a few people show up, it’s worth it to me.

The small readings are actually very intimate and relaxed. At least I’m more relaxed. I started to hyperventilate at my U. Bookstore appearance (perhaps because my therapist was in attendance and was sitting next to my boyfriend ex-boyfriend, who was drinking tequila out of a juice bottle, but anyway, I got through it and even appeared to be in control (except that I was talking too fast).

In general, I love doing readings. Live TV is fairly nervewracking, although I aced my three-minutes of fame in Portland, on Fox’ “More Good Day Oregon.” The news directory came up to me afterwards and said, “That was good TV!” I was so proud. Plus, for the teaser, they kept showing my author photo over and over so I guess I can die happy now.

Actually I’m lucky to be alive at this very moment because as of 10:30 p.m. last night, I was wandering around lost with a bunch of people in the forest at the base of Mt. Adams (one of Washington’s biggest volcanoes), without much food, very little water. Thanks to my friend Josh, however, who is a rock star with his altimeter and map reading skills, we got out without having to make an emergency camp - in fact, we came out a few hundred yards from the car after bushwacking through the forest for an hour! - I might live to write another novel one day.

So my novel is out there in the big, wide world. It is unbearably exciting. (At least when I’ve gotten enough sleep. When I haven’t, I’m grumpy and tense and certain that everything is about to go horribly awry.) This last couple weeks have been great because readers who’ve gotten early copies of the book have written to tell me how much they love it.

These are people who’ve been reading my blog and have been waiting a long time for this book, and I am so GLAD that they like it. It’s for them I wrote it, really.

I’ve been posting a lot over at Breakup Babe, so there is a little more excitement to be had there right now.

Six more days until the book comes out. I wonder what will happen? Will angels come down and lift me to heaven? Will my life suddenly be happy and perfect forever? Will my mom even call? (Well, actually, that is the one thing I can count on: my mom will call).

In a book I love, Bird by Bird Anne Lamott talks about the utter anticlimax of the day of publication - about waking up embarrassed in advance by all the praise she is about to receive, only to find that almost nothing happens that day.

But wait - I have received some praise! Here is a note I got today from someone who won a free book in the recent promotion. Wrote reader Anthony,:

“I got it in the mail today. I read the first chapter right
away - it’s *better* than your blog, even, and that’s saying
something! Ok. Back to reading. ”

Whoohoo! I also got a four-star review in a publication called Romantic Times Book Review; however, I have not yet been able to read it since one needs a subscription to see the review online, and I, ahem, can’t find it any bookstores though I am POSITIVE, CERTAIN, that is a most REPUTABLE and PRESTIGIOUS publication, whose editors have STELLAR taste!

Meanwhile, I am trying my best not to have a nervous breakdown.

So! The moment you’ve all been waiting for - the chance to win free books!

Here’s how it works: All you have to do to win a free copy is be one of the first fifty people to host a banner ad for my novel and/or a link to my Amazon page with with a little blurb about the book.

You can get the banner here and it is guaranteed to look super cool on your site.

Once you’ve put the banner and/or the link up, e-mail me at breakupbabe@msn.com to let me know and I will check out your site toute de suite. Include your name and address so I can forward the information to my publisher and they can send you your *free book* - if you are one of the first fifty, that is.

Ready. Set. Go!

Well, it’s not exactly a big month or anything. I’m only changing jobs, having a birthday, and publishing my first novel. Big whoop. Not that I care or anything, but the date for the book launch party at Elliott Bay Books is June 5. Things will get rolling at 7 p.m. with drinks and appetizers then I’ll get up and babble drunkenly at about 7:45. Hey, it worked for Charles Bukowski. BE THERE! IT’S ONLY THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE! I mean, it’s just another day.

So I have a bookstore event lined up in Portland now - you can find the schedule on the Appearances page. Also, I just found out today that Elliot Bay Books in Seattle will be hosting my book launch party. We’re finalizing the date right now, but it will be sometime in June. Since this is Seattle’s most famous bookstore, I am *very* excited.

I now have some bookstore appearances lined up. Get the complete schedule on the Appearances page. I am very excited to do some bookstore events, although my editor warns me that no one comes to see first-time novelists. So come to see me. Pretty please?

As you can see, this site is looking pretty darn odd right now. We’ve got the cover of my novel on the front (beeyootiful, isn’t it?) and then this weird leaf thing for the main part of the site. Yes, well, that will all be changing soon as the world’s greatest Webmaster (aka my brother-in-law) applies his design skills. Meanwhile, I am plotting Breakup Babe’s path to world domination.

I have not had my book to work on for three whole weeks now, which is very strange. It’s in the hands of my editor, who is doing a final round of revisions. I’ve worked on this book every day for the last two years so it’s a little hard to know what to do with my time! Getting this Web site in shape is one thing I should do. Coming up with another book idea is another. November is National Novel Writing Month so I’ll probably do that again and see what comes out. Meanwhile, I’m off to New York City in a couple weeks to meet my editor in person for the first time!

My first novel is done! Or sort of anyway. I sent inthe final chapters on Tuesday - only nine days late! Now I am going back to the beginning and revising. Ever since November, I’ve been handing chapters in to my editor and she’s been sending them back with her revisions.

But Good Lord my brain is tired. What with holding down a full-time job, writing a novel, having a pre-midlife crisis, and going through at least four breakups in the last nine months, I need a vacation! That is why I am going on one next week. I am not bringing my laptop either.

Oh wait, yes I am. I have a long ferry ride and I’m going to work there.

Sigh. I mean - yay! I’m going to be a published novelist.

Well, today is my big deadline and in very writerly fashion I was out getting drunk last night instead of writing. There went my plans for getting up early this morning and getting a *whole* bunch done. Sigh.